


Nye Eventyr

by shadydave



Category: Fairy Tales & Related Fandoms, Princess Tutu
Genre: Gen, LITERALLY, Post-Canon, Revisionist Fairy Tale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-28
Updated: 2014-04-28
Packaged: 2018-01-21 02:23:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1534127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadydave/pseuds/shadydave
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hans Christian Andersen: what a jerk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nye Eventyr

The beginning of an adventure, thought Mytho, was an excellent time for reflection. Action propelled him forward, but things were not so distracting as to make thinking too difficult. It was the perfect time to consider exactly who he was. What had led him here? What was his place in the world?

_Who let you have a fire extinguisher?_

“The steadfast tin soldier and the ballerina will not die in vain!” announced Mytho.

_Are you sure you know what you’re doing?_

“We have good on our side. And the narrator, too. Don’t you hate that story?”

_That doesn’t mean I can always figure out how fix things. Look what almost happened with the Little Mermaid!_

Mytho had spent that entire trip horribly seasick and almost completely useless. Fortunately, Rue had been able to convince the princess that she didn’t have to change for anybody and that you should really get to know someone before rushing into marriage. 

By that point, Mytho had recovered enough to apologize for almost throwing up on her, so overall he felt that counted as a success. 

“But we’re demonstrating that virtue is its own reward, in that sometimes random strangers will come out of nowhere to help you,” said Mytho. 

_I… can’t really argue with that._

_But could you at least give me SOMETHING to work with? I can get away with a lot more if there's a good moral of the story._

“We can impart some valuable lessons about fire safety?”

_Fine._

_Oh, Ahiru says you have a very confused cygnet with low self-esteem in your duck pond, and that you should give the girl pulling up nettles in the graveyard a pair of heavy gloves and a spare set of knitting needles._

Mytho scratched his head. “Do people normally need protective hand gear to knit?”

_Why would I know that, idiot?_

“I’ll ask Rue,” he decided. She had solved the mystery of who kept putting vegetables underneath all their mattresses, after all. 

_Good idea._

_Actually, maybe you should give her the fire extinguisher._

“I’ve got the coat for the little match girl,” Rue announced as she entered the yard. “Are we ready to go?” 

_Wait, where did you even GET a fire extinguisher?_

“Not now,” said Mytho. “Adventure awaits!”

Rue tossed the heavy fur coat in the back of the chariot and climbed inside. Mytho snapped the reins, and the swans took off just as the clouds rolled back to reveal the sun sinking below the horizon, surrounded by a gloriously colored sky.

“Fakir?” he said. “It was noon a minute ago.”

_Oops._

Rue rolled her eyes. “It’s an omen,” she said, waving her hand. “A sign of hope for the heroes we wish to aid.”

“Oh, good,” said Mytho, and they flew off into the sunset.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm just really attached to the idea of everyone remaining friends by collaborating on stories. And by 'collaborating', I mean 'charging off to right the terrible wrongs inflicted on fairy tale characters while Fakir tries in vain to keep everyone out of trouble and spell everything correctly'.
> 
>  _Nye Eventyr =[New Fairy Tales](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Fairy_Tales_%281844%29)_ (Including "The Ugly Duckling". From [other](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fairy_Tales_Told_for_Children._First_Collection.) [collections](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fairy_Tales_Told_for_Children_%281838%29), you get "The Steadfast Tin Soldier", "The Little Mermaid", "The Wild Swans", "The Princess and the Pea", and "The Little Match Girl", and all their disheartening subtexts.)
> 
> Hans Christian Andersen is perhaps even more alarming than Drosselmeyer because he seems like genuinely nice dude. Who sometimes told some really depressing stories. _Really_ depressing. Let it go, Hans. _Let it go._


End file.
